Day 23 SOS Poetry Project (2000)

Reclaiming Your Creative Seed
By Barbara Brennan

What are your sweet longings
that you have not been able to create?
You will find them in your time capsules,
covered with dualistic debris
in the form of good or bad judgments, emotional reactions
and all of the effects that have resulted
from acting out your judgments and emotional reactions.

Burn your time capsules with heart fire.
It is the debris that burns,
not the original seed kernel of your creative longing.

Direct your mind’s attention to the seed kernel longing.
If it is difficult to recognize,
simply look at your life.
What have you not been able to create
that you have longed for, perhaps for centuries?
You will find it as the seed kernel
buried deep within your creative debris.

Gayle’s Reflection:
These reflections I have been writing is a reclaiming process for me. Allowing the opportunity and discipline of writing regularly has uncovered some dualistic debris. This practice of showing up to write to share to feel, to know is a joyful habit for me to develop.
It is evidence of a longing I buried long ago.

My father was a writer. I never saw what he wrote, love letters to my mother, short essays, and letters home to parents and siblings from Korea. These writings never met my eyes, they were lost like everything else of his. I heard he was good at it. I have kept myself from accessing the dualistic debris of loss until now.

Now I am choosing to be free of the sadness of connecting with him… to be like him. Now I am choosing to write and asking him to assist. My father’s spirit has come to me of late as a guide for me. Can you imagine over 50 years after his death he is now ready? It’s a long time right?

I am ready now to receive my sweet longing to connect on the paper with myself, my dad and all of you. Whoa – who knew I would do this in 2014? Seems my heart fire has cleared the remaining debris away from that tiny mustard seed and kernel of my unclaimed longing.

I now recognize it and am regularly filled with joy and anticipation each time I open to write. I open my heart to speak to the words of Barbara and Heyoan.

The debris is removed.
My heart is readied.
The pencil flows effortlessly.
I choose to nourish the tiny mustard seed
of faith that I can do this.
I must do it now.
My sweet longing is here.

Thank you Barbara and Heyoan, I am now ready to access and claim my sweet longing.

See you tomorrow,
Love Gayle